Emily Heller

Comedian, Writer, Protagonist

Posts I Like
Who I Follow

To everyone in SF who has been asking when I’m coming back: this is when.


Got my first modeling gig for doodlebug tshirt and @danadearmond #doodlebug #theinternetsgirlfriend #danadearmond #cat #cats #scruff #rentboy #arms #model (at Meltdown Comics & Collectibles)

I don’t remember mocking Ed in this picture but I have to assume that’s what was happening

Asker Anonymous Asks:
You are freakin' hilarious. You must come come from solid gold comedy stock. Did your comic genes come from your dad or your mom?
emilyheller emilyheller Said:

I know it’s you, dad

Asker Anonymous Asks:
You should do playboy
emilyheller emilyheller Said:

Thanks to this dumbass ask I had a dream last night that I did and it was awful. Get a life bro. Here’s what I look like naked:

Asker joedissolvo Asks:
Dear Emily, You're pretty and funny. Thank you for existing.
emilyheller emilyheller Said:

you see people this is how you’re supposed to talk to me

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Yo girl, this is Schmidt, I live with jessica day. I'm just sayin you're the one girl. I love you boo. This is Schmidt for real boo
emilyheller emilyheller Said:

how is coach doing


I hope this sinks in your hearts.

(via thedirtyoldgentleman)

Hey! What are you up to Monday night? What’s that? You’re coming to my show? oh wow, that’s great, so cool to hear. Can’t wait to see you. It’s been too long.