The other night I was sitting and watching television with a good friend of mine. He works as a paramedic and couldn’t give two shits about the entertainment industry. We were watching a rerun of The Simpsons, specifically, the one where Sideshow Bob tries to kill Bart and destroy…
This was maybe the biggest revelation at my first TV writing job, summarized very well by my boss at that job! Please bear this in mind when my episode of Surviving Jack airs this spring and there aren’t as many fart jokes as you were expecting.
when did you know you were born to do comedy? what did it feel like?
I’ll let you know when that happens!!
But seriously. I got a lot of very nice, generous encouragement from comics I respect. That’s not how I “knew I was born to do comedy,” but it was how I made peace with the fact that I hadn’t trained myself for any other profession.
Would you ever want to be a comedian that makes albums and is known more for her stand up, or is branching out into writing and all that your thing? If you did make an album I would buy it though, you're a legit funny stand up.
That is good to know! I 100% plan on recording an album. Maybe next year!
I think it is more competitive actually but was always hard. I don't date because I'm picky with looks and everyboy I know is a dumbledouche. I do masturbate but the word is gross so I dont talk about it much. My age group is too young to buy birth control and too hormonal to do nothing so fingering/handjobs are what couples do andim not into that. I'm thinking I'll wait till I'm 17. Do boys get better in college? I'm surrounded by unnatractive sexist idiots. Blurg. I'll message you a samba band
Okay well it’s on you then to come up with a better word for masturbating! Should take you for the rest of high school. There! I solved your high school problem!
Boys get much, much better in college. College boys were a LOT of fun.
Thanks for the good advice! Everyone just says work hard. Why is it harder for me to get into college? All the boys tell 69 jokes so I don't even try when it comes to dating. did you date? I just participate in making out games at parties. I listen to varieties of whiny music. Sometimes whiny jazz, sometimes whiny brazilian samba. There's only one person in the grade who I'd actually like to talk to. I talk to everyone though because I think it's selfish to keep my sense of humor to myself.
Working hard is hard. I don’t like it. That said, you won’t regret doing it. I heard it was more competitive now than it used to be. Is that not true? Don’t date if you don’t want to. High school boys are truly moronic. This might not be appropriate to say but I encourage you, when you feel comfortable, to masturbate a lot. That’ll teach you more than dating a boy will.
I had a boyfriend in high school for a year and neither of us knew what we were doing and I don’t think it was a healthy relationship. I wish someone had told me earlier that having a boyfriend doesn’t make you valuable because I really thought it did. It’s much easier in college.
akim in high school. I'm a freshman and I already hate it. Haven't murdered anyone yet but I'm planning to because I'm going to hell anyways. I trip all the time and I think it's Satan grabbing at my ankles. I am procrastinating right now. I'm an a/b student. Mostly b. I go to a tough private school so that's actually really good. I don't to any recreational activities that look good on a college app. Just photography. Did you do anything other than debate?
Hang in there. High school sucks but there are probably some cool people you haven’t met yet. The people I liked the most in high school I didn’t really start hanging out with until junior year. But don’t feel like a loser if your life is boring and doesn’t look like a Levi’s commercial with people pushing each other in shopping carts and making out in the street and stuff. People aren’t really having that much more fun than you are. And if they are, fuck ‘em. Music will sound better to you now than it will for the rest of your life, so enjoy that if you can. Don’t murder anyone. Can’t say for sure but that would probably make high school worse.
I didn’t do much other than debate, at least nothing that helped with college (I played in a shitty band and went to a lot of shows and drew comics and listened to whiny music) but it was also easier to get into college when I was applying than it will be for you. So, sorry about that! If you can’t think of anything else you really wanna do, might as well throw yourself into some subject or another and get one of those teachers on your side so they’ll write you a good letter or recommendation. The truth about high school teachers is that their favorite thing in the world is when you try. It’s like catnip for them, they go absolutely crazy for it.
Tripping happens to the best of us, and also, the most whatever-y of us. Sometimes tables move out in front of me out of spite, I’m pretty sure.
I know but it's true. Were you a good student in high school? I WANT TO COMPARE OUR LIVES *coughs out hairball*
I was alright! I have always been a B student, and I knew that, so I decided (because I was lucky enough to have the option) to go to a very demanding high school where getting a B would actually mean learning a whole lot. I was on the debate team, too. I was pretty good at that but I didn’t like doing the work. I watched a lot of TV and procrastinated a lot. I still do.
“More than half the questions I am asked are about the politics of the way I look. What it feels like to be not skinny/dark-skinned/a minority/not conventionally pretty/female/etc. It’s not very interesting to me, but I know it’s interesting to people reading an interview. Sometimes I get jealous of white male showrunners when 90 percent of their questions are about characters, story structure, creative inspiration, or, hell, even the business of getting a show on the air. Because as a result, the interview of me reads like I’m interested only in talking about my outward appearance and the politics of being a minority and how I fit into Hollywood, blah blah blah. I want to shout, “Those were the only questions they asked!”—
Emily and I watch the one where the Malibu Sands Beach Club employees must compete against customers in the Fourth of July festivites, including a Miss Liberty beauty pageant, during which Zack must face the task of judging both his ex-girlfriend and current crush.
BIG NEWS BABIES!!!!! LISA IS MOVING TO LA!!! That means we are going to keep this idiocy train chugging along. We probably don’t even have to move to a new feed, so just stay subscribed and stay tuned and new episodes will be popping up in the new year! WE LOVE YOU!!!!
Lovely Emely Heller, I must inform you that the girl used for that user's profile picture (in your post "What the Hell") is not the user itself but a very famous swedish blogger named Isabelle Strömberg, which simply concludes how much of a troll that post is. Please don't spread false propaganda about Isabelle, I feel really sorry for her that people steal her pictures and use them in bad situations to blacken her name.. Lots of greetings from Sweden, you rock!
what are your thoughts on long distance relationships? do you think as you get older they become less desirable?
I actually think long distance relationships can be cool, because you get to do your own thing most of the time and when you’re together, you’re together, and you have more to talk about because it forces you to have your own life. Not a lot of push and pull about when you’re gonna hang out, and you appreciate each other more. I think it has a shelf life though.
But bear in mind, you’re asking someone who hasn’t been in a successful relationship since Michael Jackson died.
Holy smokes! Can you believe it? It’s our 50th PODCAST!!! This week we were joined by Colbert Report writer and podcast virgin ROB DUBBIN! He tells us about the terrain generator he invented to get out of writing a book and his favorite twitter bots.
THEN! REVENGE expert Jim VanBlaricumSebastian Peemuffin tells us all about how to get revenge on people, and at what temperature to serve up that particular dish!
Plus! Top of the Lake! Bob the Railway Dog! AND: IS THIS GOODBYE?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!
If you are the kind of nerd who is super into the idea of a terrain generator, email us at email@example.com and we can maybe hook you up with a copy of Rob’s program! Here’s what it looks like:
Yo EH you open to date'n, guuurrrl? Imma show you the finest Big Macs and ketchup in Manhattan, gurl. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun, gurl. You bout it bout it?
HELLO BABIES. This is a VERY special episode indeed. Lisa and Emily finally watch DUMB & DUMBER together, in fact, they are still coming down from the high during this very recording. On this episode, the very funny comedian and writer TED TRAVELSTEAD (@trumpetcake) is a true scholar on the subject of pick-up artists and hip lingo! And street magician Nick Maritato Drew McClanahan wows us with his logic-defying act!
Also: NEWS FLASH: Men behave hornily in the Summertime! We play two rousing rounds of Fuck/Marry/Kill! And we get kind of riled up by Cryptozoology.
Comedian, actor, writer and most importantly our good buddy KARA KLENK reminisces about working as an NBC page (Kenneth from 30 Rock, step aside!!!) and her other job: reporting on the 2006 winter Olympics! Then IT expert Casey Jost A.J. gives us some excellent tips on consumer technology.
ALSO: We analyze our creative processes, and reflect upon where our careers have taken us…WTF?!!!! And we discuss George W. Bush’s fondness for nicknames.
Stick with us on our new bi-weekly schedule! A few more episodes coming out soon! Keep sending us your expert hour faves to firstname.lastname@example.org!