My friend Jinnie asked me to submit to her zine, the theme of which is “Teen Dream.” A Teen Dream themed zine! It’s not out yet, but here’s what I sent her!
Things a Teenage Boy Dreams About, I’m Guessing
By Emily Heller, Adult Woman and Dream Expert
- He goes to school and everyone is wearing a dress. Everyone hates him. Why?
- A girl is there and she winks at his penis. He ejaculates.
- His girlfriend from 8th grade is there, wearing denim overalls. She winks at his penis and says she thinks he is a good athlete. He ejaculates. Then he says, “How is high school at the school that you go to?”
- He is trying to masturbate in the bathroom, but his mom walks in, and every room in the house he goes into, his mom follows him, and he can’t seem to get his penis put away! She is floating like a ghost and she pretends not to see him but he knows that she can. Then, he ejaculates.
- It’s the track meet, and he is riding a dog, but won’t get disqualified (he knows this)
- He is walking around a warehouse and sees the band U2, but the singer is not Bono, it’s his dad. Someone somewhere winks at Bono’s penis and the boy ejaculates!
- SNAKES! All over the walls and in his hair, so many in his hair. Uh oh, time to do his taxes!
- He’s chatting online but food comes out of the screen and also he ejaculates.
- Katy Perry is ejaculating whipped cream out of her nipples, in a land made of candy, and then she fights Snoop Dogg. Oh wait that’s California Gurls